Yuck

I am not feeling well at all today...and I can't figure out exactly what is wrong. Weird, I know. How do you "fix" something when you don't know what "it" is?! I wouldn't mind so much, but I'm running a 5K with my family in the morning to celebrate my mom's 50th birthday. And I really, really want to run a best time. I've been working so hard these past few weeks to improve my time. I do not need this right now! I'm hoping the next few hours bring a huge turnaround in the way I feel. I felt fine yesterday...and the day before...but not now. Aaarrgh!

What's next?

I've got a 5K in 5 days. I so want to do well, but I haven't been the best about my running. One of these days, I'll get it all together and get a real routine to increase my speed and distance and get some real strength. I so want to be that "fit" woman everyone wants to be...but more than that, I want to be the woman everyone wants to be because she has it all together.

Back to the Grind

I can't say I'm happy to go back to school tomorrow...but I can't say I'm not either. This week has been productive. But, it has also been trying. SB has thrown three huge fits in three days. I just can't handle this much more. I know, in my head, that it doesn't really reflect on me as a mother, but in my heart, I feel like I've failed at motherhood when she acts this way. I just don't know what else to do. I'm not the mom I want to be. I want to be so much more. I want to get it all together and keep the house clean, and put good food on the table, and be healthy, and play with the kids, and plan fun things for them, and be a Godly Proverbs 31 woman...but just when I get one thing going right, something else falls by the wayside. Oh, to be superwoman.

Wannabe Hippie Chick

I'm pretty sure I could easily be a Hippie Chick...I'm not, but I could be. I made my own granola today. Tried it in the crockpot. Not so good. Switched to the oven...and delicious! Now I have yogurt started in the crockpot...hope it works out better than the granola, but I am really looking forward to a preservative-free, sugar-controlled parfait for breakfast in the morning. But I may have to go get some fresh blueberries tonight.

I've decided I want to cut out as much processed food as possible to monitor our preservative and sodium intake. We're really doing pretty good in this department, but I may try to make our own taco seasoning and seasoned salt soon. Eventually, we may try cutting out gluten. Sounds crazy for someone who doesn't have to, but I think it's something that is a problem for my crazy, messed-up body.

When I'm in this mode, I really wish I was a stay-at-home mom so I could do more from-scratch cooking. And right now, I'm a clutter kick, so I've been cleaning like crazy. At least it's spring break, so I'm not losing a ton of sleep while trying to get everything cleaned out and cleaned up. I know being a stay-at-home mom isn't a piece of cake, but at least I'd actually be here to try to clean it.

Hmmm...

Wow, I stink at this blogging thing. I'd really like to be a good blogger, but life just catches up with me. I have so much on my plate and so much I'd really like to share, but I get sidetracked so easily. Things I'd like my blog to focus on:
1. Cooking
2. Running/exercising
3. Crafting
4. Organizing

I love my crockpot. I started a Crockpot Cooker group on Facebook and have 550 members now. I love the recipes everyone is sharing. And I love using my crockpot.

I am working on decreasing my 5K time so that I don't get beaten by my almost 50-year-old mother and 54-year-old father in the 5K at the end of the month my mother wants to run for her 50th birthday. I'm down to 35.37 for 3.2 miles...which, by the way, is not a 5K as I learned Friday. A 5K is actually only 3.1. Still...my parents ran their last 5K in 30.45!!!

I also want to start some strength training to get toned up all over...abs, back, arms, legs...you name it. I just don't want to have to use fancy equipment to do it. And the information out there is overwhelming. I just can't get it all put together in a way that will work for me.

And crafting...my long lost friend. Right now, I can't even see the table top in my craft closet...and haven't for months. I miss that outlet, but I dread the organizing I'm going to have to do to get caught up. And the photos alone...I am so behind on my picture printing. I don't think I've printed since last June, so I probably have 2000 pictures to print--seriously.

But organizing...that's where I'm at this week. Sarah Beth's room has already been rearranged. Ryan's was just done, so the big focus this month is going to be the garage. Which goes back to #2. Once we clear out the garage, it's becoming a home gym. I want to go full force with it and put down matting and put up a flat screen TV, get a weight bench and weights, and really...I'd love to hang a punching bag! Something about running on the treadmill surrounded by clutter is bad for my soul. I'd rather be running outside, but I run too early, alone and in the dark. Once summer gets here, I'm so out there!

Something I forgot

SB started preschool this past week! She's going 2 days a week for about 5 hours at a time. We procrastinated so long on this one, but I think it's a great thing for her. She's so excited about it...already learning and already making friends. Of course, it would have been helpful had someone told me the "All About Me" poster really was a parent's project. We let SB do hers on her own (with our help, of course) so it looks it. Apparently, the others at school do not. So far, she hasn't noticed. I hope she doesn't. I feel bad in some ways because hers is probably not as nice as the other kids' posters...but on the other hand (and I'm leaning this direction), she did hers just the way she wanted. That has to be a good lesson. Right?

I just can't believe she's old enough for this...in fact, she'll start kindergarten next year. Wow. It goes by so fast. I know that's such a cliche...but it's so true. I have to say, though, that I'm pretty thankful she's not a baby anymore. I didn't mind the toddler stage, but those sleepless nights with a screaming baby just trying to figure out any way to get her to sleep and not cry or wake up...not for me.

Totally Random Stuff

I finally downloaded music to my iPod. I've had it for a while now, and I had some music on it, but a friend gave me some gift cards...and I just now used them. I just don't listen to lots of music, so I didn't have a clue what to get. And what I ended up with is totally random...a little Black Eyed Peas, Kutless, Hope for Haiti, etc. Strange mix...but that's me, I guess.

So what does that say about me? I guess I am a little random. Just read the rest of the post and you'll figure that out.

I started a Crockpot Cookers group on Facebook. It already has 76 members! I don't know why that excites me, but it does. I've been using my crockpot at least once a week and love coming home to homecooked food already done. It makes working out at the Y a lot easier knowing dinner isn't going to waste all my hard exercise.

Speaking of exercise, the song I'm listening to now is one we dance to in Zumba...makes me want to get up and dance. And I don't dance. Because I don't have rhythm. But I still want to.

My mom did give me one of those hip scarves they use in belly dancing to wear in Zumba. Too funny. Too fun.

The apple dumplings I made in the crockpot yesterday turned out so well. I impressed myself. And now I want some. I've got a yummy cup of decaf coffee with cinnamon and homemade whipped cream (thanks to that Magic Bullet thing). A warm bowl of apple dumplings would go so nicely, but that would require I go to the freezing cold garage to get some out of the fridge there.

I need another crockpot. The one I have is big, really big. I need a smaller one. I have a slightly smaller one, but it cooks way too hot. Boils soup even on low. I'm in a serious cooking mood. I want new knives too. Well, not knives. Just one. I want a chef's knife, but not a huge one. They had a 7 inch one at Target for cheap, but that's just too much knife for me. I'm not much of a knife person anyway. I also need some glass bowls to use for double boiling chocolate, and just for mixing stuff in general.

And I want one of those vidalia onion choppers where you chop onions in one hit. Very cool. One of these days I'll be one of these people that can prep all her veggies for the week at once and have cute little bowls of pre-prepped ingredients in her fridge. But not now. So I need to be able to chop and cut quickly...hence the Seen on TV Vidalia cutter and the chef's knife...and a bamboo cutting board while we're at it.